Many people have been asking, “Why Easter Date Is Early?” The answer is that when Charlize Theron kidnapped Natalee Holloway, she took a week of Lent with her. Much like the NASCAR and NCAA Brackets, the date of Easter is dependent on forty days, or team, which play it out to see which day will actually be Easter. Many people have tried to download this missing week off of Limewire, but because of the Easter songs released this year by Britney Spears and Hi-5 it has been hard to find using the P2P service. Without any proof linking Theron to either the Holloway kidnapping or the missing week of Lent, the IRS has tried to pin the theft on Ashley Alexandra Dupre. Dupre was not available for comment as she was cross-training for both the NIT Basketball Tournament and the Pacquiao Vs Marquez bout. When asked for comment, Manny Pacquiao had this to say, “I ain’t fightin’ no ho’ from Club Penguin. This ain’t the WWE. This ain’t the NBA.” This seems to be a mistaken reference to the Emperors Club VIP. Club Penguin is an offshoot of RuneSpace, a website dedicated to researching Easter Bunny Origins. The reference to NBA is questionable. Sheryl Crow posited that he is probably referring to Naruto: Bad Ass, the live-action version of the popular Anime in which he will be starring next year.
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