Two film treatments to catch the eye of all you producers out there:

Jim Carrey in The Family Jewels.


Donna Peyton (Erin Hilgartner) is a ten-year-old who is orphaned when her father dies and leaves her with a $200 million fortune. Her late father’s attorney, John Wyman (Wallace Shawn), explains that she must visit each of her six uncles (all played by Jim Carrey) and decide which of them will become her new “father.” Willard Woodward (also played by Jim Carrey) is the family chauffeur who takes Donna to all of her uncles to stay with them for a period of time.

  • The six uncles that Carrey will portray are:
1. Bill: A fire marshall
2. Ace: A pet detective
3. Charlie: A state trooper
4. Lloyd: A limo driver
5. Chip: A cable installer
6. Fletcher: A career-driven lawyer

Roll credits.

Fantastic Four 3:The (new) Fantastic Four


A renegade Skrull, De’Lila (Elisha Cuthbert) crashes on Earth, with a Skrull ship in hot pursuit. De’Lila, a Shape-Shifter, slips into the Baxter Building, and one by one incapacitates each member of the Fantastic Four (Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, and Michael Chiklis) by pretending to be a loved one that has their confidence.

The pursuing Skrulls (George Clooney and Matt Damon) land on the Mole Man’s infamous “Monster Island.” The bio-readings given off the by gigantic monsters that live there are similar enough to the Skrulls so they can be easily controlled by Skrull technology. Thus the Skrulls use the monsters to search the world for De’Lila, and they begin showing up in every major city of the world Godzilla-style.

Realizing that she is being pursued she poses as Susan Richards and sends out a mental call to Spider-Man (Tobey Maguire), Bruce Banner (Edward Norton), Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), and Ghost Rider (Nicolas Cage), gathering them at the Baxter Building. She relays the shocking story of how the rest of the FF have been murdered (even showing them the FF’s “bodies”) and gives them the means to trace and follow the FF’s “assassins,” hoping that under false pretenses, the heroes will destroy the Skrulls in their desire to avenge the Fantastic Four and thus leave her to her own devices. The “New” Fantastic Four, as Wolverine dubs them, then sets out to nab the “killers,” tracking the Skrulls to Monster Island.

Meanwhile, back at the Baxter Building, with the rest of the FF in captivity, De’Lila tells Reed Richards what she is after: an egg that will soon hatch and bear a “inorganic technodroid” (i.e. big killer robot) that she plans to use to murder the Skrull emperor (Tim Robbins). The two are able to trace the egg to Monster Island and they set forth there as well. Eventually the rest of the Fantastic Four is able to escape the trap that De’Lila has them in, and they journey to the island setting the stage for the climactic fight that every comic book movie must have. But first the “new” Fantastic Four realizes they’ve been had and joins the “old” Fantastic Four to fight the Skrulls. De’Lila is defeated, but the Mole Man (John Ratzenberger) decides to play mad supervillain and holds both the skrulls and the Fantastic Eight in captivity.  Spidey is able to convince him that his partners in the New Fantastic Four are strong enough (and ill-tempered enough) to literally bring his subterranean empire down around his head.  Mole Man agrees to let them all go in exchange for continued for promised seclusion on his island with his beloved monsters.

Roll credits.

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