Bedbugs have given me a deeper understanding of God.

Well…maybe they were bedbugs…maybe not.

A couple of weeks ago my wife was getting bites on her arms and legs while she slept.  From what I knew of bug bites, these looked like spider bites.  After a week she found a strange bug in her clothes.  From what I know of entomology, it looked like a medium-sized tick.

We decided to crowdsource and posted the picture of the bites and the bug to Facebook.  The responses were definite:

“Dude. You have bed bugs.”

“It’s not a bedbug; it’s a tick.”

“I think you are in Denial….Deep Denial…That’s a bedbug, for sure.”


“It’s not a tick.  I’m dang sure that’s a bedbug.”

…and thirty-two other comments definitively declaring that it was a tick (or not).  Some people went so far as to bet their lives on it…one on each side of the fight, so someone owes me a death-pact.

Of course, I didn’t stop at crowdsourcing on Facebook.  We called in a real exterminator, and he gave us the real answer to whether or not it was a bedbug.  Everyone wanted to know, but I was so disgusted with everyone’s (and they are all my friends) arrogance that I didn’t want to give any of them the satisfaction of being right.  They all thought they were right, so I thought it was best to let them all wallow in their arrogance than proving half of them right and letting them be even more so.

This seems like one thing all major religions have in common, not that everyone things that they are right (although this is another similarity of all religions…not every religious person can be right, although they are all willing to bet their souls [and in some cases their lives…and the lives of others] on it), but that in all the holy books I know of (the Old Testament, the New Testament, the Qur’an, the Bhagavad Gita, the Pali Canon) the higher powers that be used to be a whole helluva lot more active than they are now:

God doesn’t flood the earth anymore, lepers aren’t being healed en masse by the followers of Jesus, Gabriel hasn’t made a public appearance, Demons aren’t kidnapping virgins by the thousands, and there hasn’t been a birth-without-intercourse in a while.

That isn’t to say I don’t believe in all of these things, just to say that God (and the Buddhas and the Demons) has been awfully quiet for a while…and thus people argue and fight and get pretty damn arrogant about what they “know” to be true about God.

Perhaps God and I are not that different in our response to arrogance.  We’re different in almost every other way, to be sure…but maybe when we see people (our friends especially) overly arrogant in what they are positive to be true, perhaps we get to a point where we just don’t want to give the answer yet.

I could very easily right here announce whether or not we had bedbugs, but I won’t.  My friends annoyed be to the point where I don’t want to give any of them the satisfaction of being right, and thus I remain quiet.

Could it be that God (or Allah or Krishna) are just so annoyed at our arrogance that we are so sure that we know something (or anything) about Him that at some point He just decided, “You know what?  None of you get to know anything.  You don’t deserve to.  At one point I wouldn’t have minded you being wrong, but now even the ones that are right are pissing me off.  Go on…keep fighting about it…maybe at some point I’ll speak up, but for now I’m keeping to myself.”

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